please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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