You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I have aggressive nipples.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
