So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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