I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
