when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
