On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
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