after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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