It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
