I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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