I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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