i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
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I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
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You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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