Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
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