he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
