just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize