Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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