I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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