I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
