You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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