The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Randomize
