At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
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