Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Couch. On fire.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
