Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
