I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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