Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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