i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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