I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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