Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
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Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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