My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
