She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
