The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
