So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
