Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize