So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
