oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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