VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
