The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
