she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you