I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"