When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
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Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
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I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine