If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
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Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
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To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...