have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
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my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
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His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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