My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
