Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
