I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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