Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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