so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
