she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
