The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize
