Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
