i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
