rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
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