Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
