Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
