Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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