I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
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