But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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