I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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