Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize