I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
