I feel like I'm in dance class right now
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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