Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
You need a sexual gate keeper
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Randomize
