is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
