we have pet lesbian snakes
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Floor bacon is actually really good
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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